Being Present
Being unemployed and searching for a job can be an emotional minefield fraught with dangers. For starters, there are ongoing financial concerns to contend with. Bills and payments don't stop arriving because you're out of work. What's more, your roles don't change; you're still a spouse, a sibling, or a child of someone who may depend on you for financial and emotional support, in part or whole.
Financial concerns can build up, resulting in enormous pressure for job seekers. Job searching itself is demanding and stressful. When you include the additional stress boosters of how to pay for things, life can become a grueling slog to get level again.
Given all this, it's no wonder you may have difficulty carrying out a simple job search, not to mention a complex, detailed one. Have you experienced this? Have you tried to maintain your focus and keep your mind clear as the floor slid out from under you and the puzzle parts of your life whirled away from you in every direction?
A standard recommendation to job seekers is to view the search for a job as a job. I agree, but there's more to it than this recommendation alone. Dig into this idea a bit, and you'll discover that, as a job searcher, you must successfully manage both external and internal components of seeking employment.
When I say "external components," I'm referring to "the doing" of job searching. It means doing everything necessary to look sharp, act sharp, and touch all the bases. It also means carrying out your search in a disciplined, organized, systematic manner. Dealing with these external components is demanding and requires as much effort and attention as you can bring to the game; this is where most of the "see it as a job" advisors focus their attention.
The "internal components" are more challenging to pinpoint and refer to what's happening in your mind while so much takes place outwardly. If you could write your script on the search process, you might start here by writing your character as a person who's calm and completely clear of mind internally, regardless of what's thrown in your direction. That would be nice, but you didn't write the screenplay, so you risk showing up on set with whatever frame of mind you have at the time.
On the outside, you manage how you look and present yourself. On the inside, you strive to find the best ways to manage your feelings and emotions because ignoring internal components can and probably will sabotage all your diligent external work. That's why, in the best of all worlds, you'd write a script giving yourself the external and internal attributes of a job search rock star. Why not? You'd look good, feel great, and implement everything in slam-dunk fashion. Then again, it might not be so easy. You might see yourself nailing down the external components; however, those pesky internal issues are another matter.
Fortunately, there's a simple fix. It requires a shift within you, a subtle change of perspective. That's all. There's no cost or tools necessary. The shift I'm describing happens internally and instantly by moving into the present moment. When you do this, you begin operating in the here and now. It's simple, but it's not necessarily easy for many people. Challenges and issues with past events deeply rooted inside you tend to surface unsupportively when the pressure ramps up. Worry and anxiety about things yet to come can magnify and stop you dead in your tracks if given full rein and allowed to run amuck.
So, what does it mean to function in the present moment? Consider this. All you have to work with is the present moment. The past is history, and the future is unseen and yet to come. All anyone ever has is right now. When tomorrow comes, it's another present moment. You can pretend otherwise, and your mind will try to convince you it isn't the case. The truth is, we all must do everything we do in the now, the present moment.
Here's the real issue for all job seekers—you need to follow through on your job search while managing the usual demands placed on you by family and those close to you. Life continues happening, unfolding predictably on some days and unpredictably on other days. It's like you're the actor in an improv sketch, and you don't know what's coming your way next. But for you, it's not a "sketch" or a "scene," it's your life.
The load's even heavier for background-challenged people like you. Stuff has happened. There are things on file, making it all the more reason for thinking, living, and working in the present. Staying present is more than a mere suggestion or recommendation. It's essential. Whenever you think about what went wrong in the past or worry about the future, you need to bring your awareness back to the present. It takes work, but you can do it. Old, unresolved past issues will find ways to resurface at the worst time. Anxiety and stress about things that haven't happened can drain your energy and take your focus off the ball.
Remember, you're a Free Agent operating in a Marketplace that doesn't care about you or your story. There's freedom in that knowledge but a responsibility, too. So get straight with the way things are for you. Stay present, cutting loose negative stuff from your past and ignoring, for the moment, future things that aren't relevant yet.
The first step in managing all aspects of your life while job searching is accepting everything is happening all at once. The experience may also take you outside your usual life pattern and comfort zone. Accepting what's happening in reality is your highway to operating in the present. Non-acceptance is the opposite, and it won't help you achieve your goals, ever. Not accepting reality prevents you from doing what you must do today. It's a mind game leading to inefficiency and ultimately to ineffectiveness. Learn to live in the present and accept things now to change things later.
You aim to be "on" and fully engaged with what's happening to and around you every moment. Being on and engaged means there is no past or future to occupy any part of your mind or body, only what's happening immediately. For most people, the experience of being and working in the present moment comes as a relief. Gone is baggage hauled aboard long ago. Missing is the stress and fear about unknown things yet to come. This new experience will happen as if you remember something you've never learned—something beneficial that's waited patiently for the right time to surface into your awareness.
Onward!