Building Your Modern Tribe
Let's talk about your tribe – yes, your support network. In our hyper-connected yet oddly disconnected world, understanding and building your tribe has never been more crucial. Over the years, I've seen firsthand how the right support network can make or break someone's journey to success, particularly those facing reentry challenges.
Think of your support network as an ecosystem of relationships that provide various types of assistance. The benefits? They're massive—from better physical health and longer life to improved mental wellness and career success. But here's the thing: these vital connections no longer happen naturally in our digital, social media-saturated society. We need to be intentional about building them.
I write frequently about how connecting with others, especially vital work-related contacts, is crucial for people facing reentry challenges. But let me be clear—the power of support networks extends far beyond job searching and career strategies. The Harvard Study of Adult Development (running for over 80 years now) is fascinating: strong relationships are the best predictors of happiness and longevity, period.
This isn't surprising when you think about it. Our ancestors knew this instinctively—being part of a tribe wasn't just nice to have; it was essential for survival. Yet here we are, becoming more isolated each year despite (or perhaps because of) our constant digital connections. The results? We can see them all around us in the growing number of alienated and disaffected people in our communities.
Let me break down what a comprehensive modern support network looks like. I've identified four key components, each serving distinct but interconnected purposes:
Your Inner Circle: The Emotional Foundation
Close family members who've got your back
Intimate friends who truly get you
Long-term romantic partners who share your journey
Recovery peers who understand your specific challenges
Purpose: These are your go-to people for emotional support, unconditional acceptance, and life stability. You can call them at 2 AM when things get rough.
Your Professional Network: The Career Catalyst
Mentors who've walked your path
Colleagues who share your professional journey
Industry contacts who open doors
Employment counselors and career guides
Purpose: This network isn't just about finding jobs – it's about professional growth, opportunities, and career guidance. For those with background challenges, these connections (I call them People Links) are an absolute must!
Your Community Connections: The Social Anchor
Neighbors who create local belonging
Religious/spiritual community members
Interest groups and club members
Local organizations and support groups
Purpose: These connections ground you in your community, provide practical support, and create opportunities for shared experiences. They're crucial for building a sense of belonging.
Your Expert Support: The Professional Guidance System
Healthcare providers who maintain your physical well-being
Financial advisors who guide your economic decisions
Mental health professionals who support your psychological health
Legal advisors and case managers who help navigate complex systems
Purpose: These specialized relationships provide expert guidance when you need it most. They're your professional support system for life's complex challenges.
Investing time and energy in creating a solid support network is one of the most important things you can do for your long-term well-being, success, and resilience. But it is crucial to understand that it is not just about having people around. It's about creating and nurturing meaningful connections that can provide different types of support during various life circumstances.
Building these networks early creates a foundation for young adults' journey ahead. However, not everyone gets this opportunity early in life. For those reentering, getting back on track means literally building or rebuilding their support network from the ground up. This needs to be done carefully, step by step, starting with the fundamental realization that this isn't optional; it's essential.
In our digital age, building these connections requires a balanced approach. While technology gives us incredible tools for initial connections and ongoing communication, the most beneficial relationships typically need face-to-face interaction to develop fully. This creates a unique challenge: How do we use digital platforms as launching points for deeper connections rather than letting them become shallow substitutes for genuine relationships? For those in reentry situations, this process requires extra patience—and, another critical point here—a strategy that deemphasizes digital connection (despite all the apps and technical bells and whistles at our fingertips) to one that places actual people and face-to-face interactions first.
As mentioned above, taking it step-by-step (pace) is vital to success (think turtle vs. hare). I often see reentering people trying to move too quickly to make up for lost time or give back before they're ready. This is where those early supporting tribe members—reentry helpers and counselors—become crucial. They help develop realistic plans and objectives, ensuring the journey starts correctly.
But remember this: your network won't just appear at your door. You'll have to show up first with intention and purpose. But when you do, you're setting the stage for receiving and giving support. The key is building these connections thoughtfully over time. Sure, it might take longer than you'd like, but networks built this way are the most beneficial and lasting.
Picture your support network as a garden. It needs regular attention, careful nurturing, and patience to grow. Some relationships will bloom quickly, others will take time to develop, and that's okay. What matters is that you're intentionally creating and maintaining these connections, understanding that they're essential for your success and well-being in our ever-complex modern world.
Onward to building strong tribes!